Gray Panda Attacks!

daeartine @ 2006-01-27T22:25:00

2006-01-28T04:27:28Z

Hi, my name is Michelle, and I am fat. I am a horrible person.

Thank you.

daeartine @ 2006-01-23T23:08:00

2006-01-24T05:11:51Z

I'm going to have to really try to make sure the chi in my home is right in the future. It seems to make a difference.

I'm sure I was going to say something extraordinarily profound, but I can't remember what it was. So I'll say someone else's profoundness.

"What we think, we become." -Buddha

daeartine @ 2006-01-18T19:50:00

2006-01-19T01:49:54Z

Am I the only person who just about cries from horror watching American Idol auditions?

daeartine @ 2006-01-16T16:20:00

2006-01-16T22:49:39Z

Well, class starts tomorrow, which will be a heavily rainy day, for joy. I'll be going back to Murfreesboro tonight, so we'll see how that goes.

I still haven't lined up a place yet. I may have to end up commuting for at least a month, which I'm not looking forward to. I would carpool with Kim, but I think she still has an 8am class, and that ain't flying with this bird. At least, not yet.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my things while I'm apartmentless (if I will be). I'll see if Jennifer wants the couch, side tables, microwaves, and the bookcases she's using. I'm not sure if I'll have to bring the dining room table with me to Columbia or not. I'm going to look into small storage prices. If it isn't bad, I'll do that, since it should be a month's charge, two at most.

I wish most of us felt more appreciative of things. Our culture works against us so very hard to make us not...

“Base your decisions on your life, the life you want to lead, not someone else’s life or the life others think you should lead.” - It’s All In Your Head

Decisions, decisions.

2005-12-29T05:26:59Z

It fascinates me that I still blog even though I know no one ever reads it. :)

I'm trying to decide if I want a cat or a hedgehog for a pet. I never considered a hog before, but they're SO cuuuuuuuute! I figured they would be difficult to care for, but they aren't. Actually, it's a lot like a cat. They eat cat food and use a litter box. They don't smell, as many small animals do. I have a while to make a choice, since it'll about March before I move. I want one now, though. :) Cuuuuute!

Saturday will be fun. My first New Year's with my gay boys! Who am I going to kiss? o.0

Huh

2005-12-28T21:18:05Z

This is something interesting and kind of disturbing to me. It's not something I've really thought about too much before, as, having never experienced it within myself, it's something that's completely foreign to me. Begrudging people their happiness. This blows my little pea brain...

If you go to MTSU...

2005-12-16T14:28:04Z

...and you have to take non-cal based physics, get Pavlina Pike as your lab instructor. She's an absolute sweetheart.

Good lord

2005-12-14T01:14:17Z

I've always known I'm spoiled. It ain't hard to see. It's really showing itself in my current search.

I should be studying. I almost don't care what I make in my physics class anymore. I'm that tired of it.

daeartine @ 2005-12-04T21:11:00

2005-12-05T03:47:10Z

In case a certain someone is wondering why I've been quiet on certain matters (and reading this at all), it's for what you would consider good reason. Most people - especially lately, it seems - would rather not hear what I want to say about things. I've been trying very hard not to give in to idiot compassion. So I remain almost silent.

Actually, it's not that hard. I don't usually even have the impulse anymore (which is actually a rather good thing); the main issue is that I feel socially that I should still be trying to pander to people's egos. See, I (and others) have found that people only like to hear what the want to hear, not what they need to hear. While it's harder to listen to, as long as defensiveness doesn't get in the way and it's taken as it's mean, to help, it's far more useful. What people think they want to hear can often just exacerbate the problem. The truth, hard as it can be, is far more helpful...in truth, there is knowledge, eventual understanding and healing. We so often never get to the root of what the real issue is, and suffering is prolonged when it is so unnecessary. Unfortunately, most of the time when people hear that truth, their indignity flares up and their ears mysteriously plug up with some invisible substance - or maybe there's a psychosomatic response and earwax is overproduced at an amazingly quick rate.

My new-found, no-bullshit reactions are making me a very quiet person. It's difficult to find a way to temper true compassion into something palatable to someone who isn't really into that. When someone is so attached to their ego as so many of us are, they allow it to fight hard against waking up and seeing how things really are. The ego's purpose is to strengthen itself, so when it sees a threat to its supremacy over them, it tries very hard to make them not really hear and learn. That's actually the root of the suffering of the human condition. We become mired in our ego and become so very, very petty, sad, and blind.

I'm not a good teacher, though, and completely suck as a motivator. I just have to remind myself that I can only do what I can, and others must make their own mistakes. I just hope that no one expects prolonged pity over anything that isn't truly pitiable (not directed at anyone in particular), as I don't expect or want that from anyone else in regards to myself. I only hope that people will do their best.

Just a wild guess

2005-12-04T03:48:56Z

No one reads this, do they?

Too right

2005-11-29T04:35:08Z

Aries Rooster

These Roosters are very forward and are never afraid to provide you with the brutal truth. They do not flower their dialogue with unnecessary description but rather tend to get straight to the point. Brutal honesty is also expected from other people. These Roosters also respect those who can persevere through hardships as well as they can.

*8P

daeartine @ 2005-11-28T10:30:00

2005-11-28T16:31:26Z

I've always wondered why people take something like life so seriously when it's something that's so very not.

daeartine @ 2005-11-09T19:00:00

2005-11-10T01:02:12Z

I think I'd like to rent Reefer Madness sometime. I'm not usually into musicals, but then I read the line, "S&M has never had such a catchy beat." Sounds like my kind of show.

Poll time! Just noticed I could do it.

View Poll: Because I can!

It is done

2005-10-25T02:21:54Z

I've made a decision. Living in an apartment with a roommate pretty much full-time has been a learning experience. I'm finding more and more that I would very much like to live by myself. I guess it's just my personality type, although I know a lot of people who have had a lot of living situations, and many seem to find it nice when they have the option.

So, at the end of our lease at the end of February, I'm going to get a one-bedroom apartment by myself. It would have to be something really special to get me to go into a room or house mate situation again for now. I really would rather live by myself, as living with my mom isn't really an option. *8P I'm told everyone should live alone at least once in their life, and I think they're right. I'm going to go for it.

daeartine @ 2005-10-06T21:41:00

2005-10-07T02:41:21Z

When things start getting to you, remember, it's up to you to change it. Just repeat to yourself this mantra:

"Life is my bitch..."

daeartine @ 2005-10-05T22:55:00

2005-10-06T03:55:43Z

I have a knot on my knee, and I have no idea how I did it. Dunno what I did to my back, either.

I finally got my room in order. It only took 2 months. Now I just have to do the rest of the apartment...

Please be healthy

2005-09-23T01:44:12Z

I wish you health. Keep your liver healthy. It sucks when it's mad at you. I've rarely felt so weak, and I've been pretty ill before.

Cha - cha - cha -chaaangggeees...

2005-09-13T02:19:36Z

It's a bit surprising how domestic I seem to be. I guess I've gotten so used to the way my mother kept the house that it's the way I have to live. I guess to a lot of people, the apartment isn't in that bad of shape, but it's driving me freaking nuts! I'm hoping to make a dent tomorrow.

I've also gained a great appreciation of my mother keeping the house with my dad and us. I've tried to let her know how much I appreciate her. I feel like as I've moved away, we're getting closer. I guess because I'm more in her position than I was.

Physics isn't going to be as bad as I thought it would be, I think, other than maybe the projects. We'll have to see.

I'm not sure my addition of Jet Dry was a good idea.

Hmm...what else? I want to start painting again, but when will I get to? I guess when I get time to plop in front of my altar for some regular meditation. O.o

daeartine @ 2005-09-08T22:39:00

2005-09-09T03:41:20Z

I'm just really not digging this physics class. I'm feeling like we're not getting any kind of real foundation.

I have GOT to clean this place up.

I like to complain

2005-09-07T02:11:18Z

Yes, I am whiny. I'm sick. I thought I just had a head cold, but I almost lost my dinner. It's funny that I handle things like surgery and major illness far better than I do a cold. A cold is pointless. It's just annoying and makes you feel like poop without being serious. POOOOOOOOOOOOOOP. I'm really hoping I won't spread it to anyone else.

I wish I had the cajones to drop out this semester and go to the coast to help. Please give if you can. These people have absolutely nothing other than the most important thing - their lives. Having nothing makes your life frightening, though. Without us, nothing will improve for them.

O.o

2005-08-31T01:19:09Z

I will post...I will post...

Phear me, bitch.

2005-07-20T03:56:46Z

I love...freakin' LOVE...that I scare car salesmen. There is no more empowering feeling than knowing that a car salesman is glad to see your back and hates that you came in the first place. I'll get into it later.

I'm full. Chinese food is a bad, bad thing sometimes.

My doctor ordered me to start dancing again. I'm waiting for her to write me a prescription for it.

I have to go to the Boro tomorrow to go to the dressmaker's. Woo and shit.

I was waiting for Lana to get to Cool Springs to up to Hickory Hollow with her. She wanted me to go along with her to see about getting her Equinox. That's where the first paragraph came from. I had about 20 minutes to kill, but didn't want to go in anywhere (I so don't need to buy shit impulsively right now. They still have kittens at the pet shop), so I drove to the CSCC campus up there. It's about 10 minutes away, so it would work out nicely, I thought. Gave me somewhere to drive to, anyway, as I didn't feel like just sitting anywhere in car. I drive a circuit around the very small parking lot. I'm leaving, and there's Treyton pulling in. Didn't know he taught up there tonight. His windows are so darkly tinted that I couldn't tell if he saw me or not. I waved, just in case he did. I kind of hope he didn't see me, though.

I really must get off my ass and start doing things. Kind of wish we could have a party.

I had to go and come back, didn't I.

2005-07-09T19:27:05Z

Well, I'm back.

Things I learned:
1. Do not drive in Washington, DC.
2. Don't go at all if it's hot. 95F + lots o' asphalt + pedestrian = lack of amusement.
3. Make sure the lamp is switched off before you plug it in when someone could be up there fiddling with the bulb, whether you think they're done or not.
4. Martha lives to hook people up. Beware the short woman.
5. Those TempurPedic mattresses are pretty nice.
6. I really could just leave.

I'll post something else when I get back tomorrow. I'm off to see Rae and to go to a party in the Boro. Shelly won't be driving home tonight, I think.

So long, suckers!

2005-06-27T04:25:46Z

I finally get to go on a road trip. Yay! I wish Treyton could go, though. That would be massively entertaining. But he keeps never following through on the trip thing, and my ass has to get out of here. Shelly is nowhere near enlightened enough to get her mindfulness back in this environment. The ocean will be of great assistance in this, I think. As Rae has pointed out, I am water. It's like going home to a mother's bosom.

We'll be going to DC for a couple of days. I'm going to go to the National Zoo. It's free! It'll be the first time I've seen live giant pandas. They have cheetah cubs right now, too! I'm going to take tons of pictures. I'll make a gallery when I get back.

Everything is interesting. I won't spiel about T here, but I would. I guess some things are better kept to yourself...for now. I'll only say that I miss him. When I return, I'm going to start dancing again. I'm going to find mindfulness again, and my will, the latter perhaps really for the first time.

I also would like to learn much more about quantum physics.

Life is going to change. This shall be an adventure - a grand one.

Decisions

2005-06-22T04:30:41Z

I've been slipping far from where I should be. Of course, I can't blame anyone other than myself.

Other than functions that are absolutely necessary, I'll probably be out of commission for a while. Treyton probably isn't going to be pleased about that, but he'll get over it. Being the enigmatic business tool isn't cute for me right now.

On a side note, I highly recommend salt water pools. It does wonders for my hair and skin. Unfortunately, being outside in the summer turns me into one giant freckle.

When did I become such a shoe whore?

I want to teach Savannah how to make an iris. Not sure why. I think I'll teach Summer...she may not have the patience for it yet, though.

I can't wait for Christmas time to come around. Mike's probably coming out to visit. I could use that particular teddy bear right about now.

Here goes nothing.